... these Crocs are a sham.

I think by now everyone is familiar with Crocs. These hideous shoes that have taken over people's feet throughout the world. Why? Why oh why would you do something like that? What did your feet do to you to deserve this horrible fate.

My blog is about style ... and Crocs are not it. They are on the same level with flip-flops: a trend that should have never been. I think the best indicator of how completely useless these shoes are, take a look at all the children that were injured when the shoes got caught in escalator mechanisms. That was the Universe's way of punishing the fashionless masses who would dare wear those things. What better way to punish you ridiculously clueless fools than to take out your children for your pathetic attempts at style.

Yeah.....I said it! But, if you feel that was too harsh for you, I have a nicer way of voicing my disgust, and your fate for wearing them:

I am Sam.
I am Sam.
Sam, I am.

That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not likethat Sam-I-am!

Do you wear Crocs?

I do not wear them, Sam-I-am.
I do not wear Crocs; they are a sham.

Would you wear them here or there?

I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should wear them anywhere.
I do not wear Crocs; they just aren't glam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you wear them in a house?
Would you wear them to kill a mouse?

I do not like them in a house.
I would not wear them to kill a mouse.
I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should wear them anywhere.
I do not wear Crocs; they just aren't glam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you wear them in a box?
Would you wear them to run from a fox?

Not in a box.
Not to run from a fox.
Not in a house.
Not to kill a mouse.
I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should wear them anywhere.
I would not wear Crocs; they just aren't glam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you?
Could you?
In a car?
Wear them!
Wear them!
Here they are.

I would not, could not, in a car.

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them in a tree!

I would not, could not, in a tree.
Not in a car!
You let me be.

I do not like them in a box.
I would not wear them to run from a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I would not wear them to kill a mouse.
I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should wear them anywhere.
I do not wear Crocs; they just aren't glam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

A train!
A train!
A train!
A train!

Could you, would you, on a train?

Not on a train!
Not in a tree!
Not in a car!
Sam, let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, to run from a fox.
I will not wear them to kill a mouse.
I will not wear them in a house.
I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should wear them anywhere.
I do not wear Crocs; they just aren't glam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not, in the dark.

Would you, could you, in the rain?

I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark.
Not on a train.
Not in a car.
Not in a tree.
I will not wear them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house.
Not in a box.
Not to kill a mouse.
Not to run from a fox.
I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should wear them anywhere.

You do not like Crocs?

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you, while milking a goat?

I would not, could not, while milking a goat!

Would you, could you, on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, while milking a goat.
I will not wear them in the rain.
I will not wear them on a train.
Not in the dark!
Not in a tree!
Not in a car!
You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I will not wear them to run from a fox.
I will not wear them in a house.
I would not wear them to kill a mouse.
I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should like them ANYWHERE.
I do not wear Crocs; they just aren't glam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

You do not like them, so you say.
Try them!
Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

Sam!
If you will let me be, I will try them.

You will see.

Say!
I like Crocs; now I'm the man.
I do!
I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would wear them in a boat.
And I would wear them while milking a goat ...
And I will wear them in the rain.
And in the dark.
And on a train.
And in a car.
And in a tree.
They are so snug, so snug, you see!
So I will wear them in a box.
And I will wear them to run from a fox.
And I will wear them in a house.
And I will wear them to kill a mouse.
And I will wear them here or there.
Say, I will wear them ANYWHERE!
I do so like Crocs; but my girl did not, and left me man.
Damn you!
Damn you, Sam-I-am!
Now I'm alone, and stuck with just my hand.

Here's to style. Cheers!

Barney Choo, Manolo Boobah, Nine Wiggles, Elmo & Gabbana ... the newest frontier in "cry" fashion.

There is a new emerging fashion trend for babies --high heel crib shoes for girls. That's right: high heels for babies.

Two Seattle mothers, Britta Bacon and Hayden Porter, have created a new look for babies on the "crawlway" ... or should I say the "kittywalk?" These are little baby shoes with a heel that collapses if a baby attempts to stand on them. But, they are shaped like a heel. And they come in six styles: leopard satin, hot pink patent, black satin, zebra satin, black patent, and hot pink satin. Now, even the youngest girls can have a complete outfit. As we all know, no outfit is complete without the right shoes.

Heelarious is the line that makes these shoes. And at $35 a pair, your baby can have them. Many people have been upset by this newest development. They say that this has taken fashion too far. Do I agree? I don't know. Would I put my daughter in them? Hell no!

But taking these shoes out of the context of a baby wearing heels, and all that can imply, let's think about the overall message here. What is this? It is a way to get babies in the early mindset of thinking about looking good. Now, the burdens of beauty are falling at the babies' doorsteps. And why shouldn't it? Maybe heels are not the way to go, rather clothes for babies, in more than Easter colors, wouldn't be too bad of an idea. Baby fashions...... I like the idea.

Who knows ... high fashion for babies could produce the next Diana Vreeland, or Coco Chanel, or Anna Wintour. The game is getting to be for the younger and younger. If you want your child taking over the world, you have to get them on the right track earlier now than you used to. Nowadays, you don't have your teenage years to discover yourself ... who you are. By teenage years you should already know and be making plans for your future. Youth has responsibilities. And putting grown up shoes on a baby is just a subtle implication of that fact. Isn't it funny how fashion is always intertwined with the changing times? Every change in society's development has a fashion to it. Fashion really is everywhere.

I think the best way to wrap up this blog is just to say plainly that regardless of your feelings toward this trend, it is here. It is a reflection of the times we live in. Like it or love it people, babies can now strut the playpens looking better than most of you. The gauntlet has been thrown down. What are you gonna do about it?

Here's to style. Cheers!

Men: the ultimate style accessory for women.

A thought just occurred to me as I'm sitting here in class: what is the must have accessory for every woman to feel stylish and beautiful? And then it struck me out of nowhere ... MEN!!!
Of course! Why didn't I think of it before? Men make the best accessories for a woman.

I'm sure some of you assume that I am joking about this, but I am very serious. Think about this for a moment: have you ever taken a good look at a haute couture magazine? What did you notice? Contrast.

Take this recent photo from America's Next top Model:


Do you know what makes this photo high fashion? Her stance. McKey is in a couture dress, in a nature setting, and she's rough and tough. Tyra said it best in another shot: to make a photo high fashion, project the opposite of what you're wearing. So, if you were in a ball gown, maybe a grungy, slouching stance would then make the shot high fashion. It's all about contrast. This is why girls are in $5,000 dress with combat boots on a motorcycle. It's edgy and interesting.

Here's where the man comes in. When you go out at night, and you want to look your best, take a man with you. If you're high class and luxury, maybe have a scruffy rocker-type on your arm. And get a photograph of the two of you together. I guarantee if you do this right, you will look even more stunning. And isn't that what an accessory does? You've got your "Freakum Dress" on, bring a man in a more conservative suit. Again, attention moves to you...and you look great.

Sit down one day, and really think about the look you are wearing, and find a guy for the night that contrasts with it. When you both compliment each other, you fade away. You want to be the star? Steal the spotlight. Make sure he looks good in his role, but not better than you. The accessory must enhance you, not cover you. And what makes a man the ultimate accessory? He can be changed with each outfit. A suit one day, jeans and t-shirt on another, and so forth. A beard one day, shaved on another, a stubble day ... you get the picture. It's likely that you're attracted to someone who has an opposite personality to you, so why not look the parts as well.

Hmmm...maybe this style tip is a little too far, but I wholeheartedly support it. Give it a try ... it can't hurt to experiment a little. Good luck.

Here's to style. Cheers!

Most men's suits just don't suit me ...

I really think this should go without saying, but every man should have at least one good suit in his closet. You never know when you may need to go to the closet and be ready for a grand occasion. For a woman--and a growing population of men--there is nothing sexier than a man in a well-fitted, good suit. Men, we just look better when we are suited up. No matter what your size. A suit is like snow: a magical blanket that hides what's ugly, and makes everything beautiful.

Unfortunately, most men turn what should be a simple look into something tacky, bulky, and generally unflattering without even thinking of it. Think of how many men you have seen in a suit too big for their bodies, or too small. Most men don't care how they look. And that is tragic. This blog will help any man select a perfect-fitting suit. As I sit here in one of my tax classes, I noticed that the professor is wearing a suit that is all wrong for his body. It really makes him look like a homeless man who just bought a suit at the Salvation Army for an interview to get himself off the streets. A mean picture, yes; a true picture, hell yes.

A nice, properly worn suit looks good everywhere from the office, to the opera, to dinner, and on the way to bed. It is the equivalent to the little black dress for women. It's a closet staple for any man. Just choose the right one, or you'll lose style points that are very easy to pick up. If you follow these simple rules, I am certain I will make you a GQ Man of Style:

1. Choose the right fabric.

Let me be clear about one thing men: there are only three basic fabrics to choose from, so no need to go any farther unless you are an advanced dresser--wool, polyester, and cotton (yes, there are cotton suits being made). I cannot give a preference between one of the other. You need to be aware of the feel of the suit on your skin. Some people maybe allergic to wool, or polyester. Remember that you have to be comfortable in the suit. Hives do not equal comfortable.

2. If the pants don't fit, your suit ain't shit.

The waistline of your pants needs to be at a comfortable fit. Pants should sit comfortably on the waist, just above the hips. As far as pleated pants are concerned, it depends on your body type. If you are a little chubby in the stomach area, then you can get away with wearing pleats since it will help cover it up. If you are thinner, then stay away from them. Pleats will only make you appear skinnier. Pleats should not open. If you are wearing flat front pants, be careful that the pockets do not gape. Both indicate that the pants are tight.

As far as the hem of your pants, pant length should reach the heel in back and allow for a break in the front. Pleated pants can be worn with or without cuffs. Be careful on the cuff / uncuff issue. A cuffed pant makes you look shorter. On the other hand, cuffed pants show maturity. It's a judgment call. If you are wearing flat front pants, plain and uncuffed bottoms are the way to go.

3. Stop wearing your Dad's shirts.

The sleeve length needs to be exact. Stop wearing shirts too big for you. Remember that this is your "good suit." Everything should fit just right. Tailoring is not just for the rich and fabulous. Sleeves should come to the base of the palm when arms are at your sides. Once you put on your suit jacket, the cuffs of your shirt should show 1/2". Be aware that it is common for arms to be different lengths. Tailoring will keep everything properly even.

4. Choose your jacket wisely.

The suit’s jacket needs to fit easily across your stomach in order to appear professional. It should not be overly tight, but rather allow for some play when the jacket is buttoned. A two-button suit is an American classic. However, I am a fan of the three-button, or four-button for some people, suit jackets. The key is to know your waistline and what flatters it. For a thinner man, I would recommend the classic two-button. For a larger-framed man (not fat necessarily, but an actual large frame with broad shoulders), I like a three-button. I reserve the four-button for a taller man, or a man who could use the extra length of a four-button. Get to know you, and what you need to look your best.

5. Get it together ... you're suit should not "taste the rainbow."

Colors has always been a problem for men. Steve Harvey is not the authority on suits. A red suit only looks good on women, and Prince. That's it gentlemen. And the same goes for violet, and the rest of the ROYGBIV spectrum. Black, charcoal, gray, midnight blue, brown, tan, slate, do you see where I'm going guys? These are colors that work. This suit must be multi-functional. Save a red suit for Halloween, or the Player's Ball. And please....PLEASE...choose one color. Men should only wear a suit with one color jacket, and a different color pant when they are in prep school. It is tragic, and a waste of material. Segregate the colors of a suit. It's okay....the Supreme Court won't come after you for it.

I hope this has been helpful for you. I want to see hot, sexy men of all shapes and sizes in their suits blowing these women's minds (and the booming population of men who like it too).

Here's to style. Cheers!

Hail to the Queen! Her legacy lives although she no longer breathes.

On September 13th, at 8 pm, Lifetime will be airing a special movie telling the life story of the most important figure in in the history of 20th-century fashion--Coco Chanel.

Coco Chanel has undoubtedly been the biggest influence on haute couture. Her pioneering, menswear-inspired fashions created a classic look that has never gone out of style. To this day, you will still find women wearing her original suits, accessorized by the trademark costume-pearl necklaces Chanel always paired the suits with. And to this day, that look has never been out. And who can forget her signature fragrance, Chanel, No. 5? That perfume was created in 1921, and 67 years later still graces the wrists, necks, and that sensitive area behind the knee (I hope you women paid attention to what I said because that's where women should be placing their perfume FYI), of women around the world.

I am a bit excited that this movie is coming out. I have always looked to Coco Chanel's legacy as an example of true style. True haute couture should not be the bells and whistles of some of these design houses. "A woman is closest to being naked when she is well dressed." Granted, couture is art. However, there is some art that you can display for all to see--elegant, beautiful, and timeless--and then there is some art that you keep in a private collection because it is too bold, confusing, and generally offensive in a way that should not be displayed in your home, only a museum or art gallery. Chanel is elegant and timeless. Every piece was created to be worn...not just appreciated for it's artistic value. Chanel used to say, "simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance." There's no better way to describe style.

You know, writing that little quote made me think of just how much Chanel has influenced my fashion choices when I advice others. Before I left Macon, Cania and I were going to the End of the Session Banquet for NCDC. Cania called me and asked me to come over and help her pick out an outfit for her to wear. She pulled out a pants number that was okay by my tastes, but not great. So, I paired the top with a nice skirt, and left the pants out as an option. Since I didn't like the pants with the top, Cania asked what she should pair with them then that would be more fashionable. The first thing that came to mind was to find a nice boxy, shoulder-padded suit jacket, a camisole, and a long string of pearls. And, of course, closed-toed shoes for business, open-toed for evening cocktail hour. Classic Chanel, and it never even occurred to me that was what I was doing. It just looked elegant and beautiful. Maybe every woman reading this should make sure they have that outfit in their wardrobe. It's timeless. Don't forget you need a nice clutch purse for this look, and a wealthy stockbroker on your arm. ;-)

This blog is not meant to be a style advisory, although there a couple of inserts in here that you should definitely add to your list of style tips. As I have said many times, style is about simplicity. And in that spirit, I have one more Coco Chanel adage: "When accessorizing, always take off the last thing you put on." There are so many more things she has imparted on the fashion community, but I wouldn't want to cram all of it into this one blog. This blog is simply to entice all of you to watch this Lifetime movie, and appreciate the woman who revolutionized women's couture. I'm sure I'll have more of her tips as this blog continues. In the meantime, I'm gonna sit down, pour myself a vodka martini--shaken, not stirred (because shaken is better for vodka...gin martinis must be stirred or you bruise the gin)--and enjoy my own newly purchased fashions. By the way, this season is all about retro 60's fashions...slim lines, layers, dress shoes and pants. This was one of my favorite decades for clothes. It's nice to see a new take on the old standard.

As always: here's to style. Cheers!

The "Man Bag"

Have you noticed lately that more men are walking around with what we call "man bags?" Usually, it is a small messenger bag, or a Coach pouch that is marketed directly towards men. I hate these things. They suck, and no man should ever walk around with these things.

Why can't men just have purses, or handbags?

Think about the way fashion has evolved now. We have returned to much sleeker lines on the designs. Men wear slim leg jeans and pants. Everything is designed to fit the body, not hang on it. This means that everything we put in our pockets will throw off the lines. So basically fashion has presented the necessity for men carrying their stuff in a bag of some sort. Where else are you gonna fit your chapstick, iPod, cell phone, wallet, etc.? You need a bag. Men need a bag.

I know, I know, you think that a bag would be too feminine for men. But seriously, what is really left of complete masculinity nowadays? We have makeup designed for men, we have allowed metrosexuals to take over the world. Men are getting regular manicures, caring for their mommies, and are showing their emotions. You tell me what's left in the world that is so masculine that a bag would ruin it. The age of a more effeminate man has come. I'm not complaining about all of the new changes. Some things are useful. It's nice to not be ridiculed for wanting to look your best. My main problem is in the makeup, and the pretense that wearing those "man bags" is not wearing a purse. IT IS!!

So, now that I have put my stamp on men with bags, the next step is to discover the right bag for a man. I'm not saying go out and pick up a Kate Spade or anything. I think that might push the boundaries into the Prince zone. We don't have to go that far, unless you think heels are the wave of the future for men. For a man, I think we should go for something a bit oversized. Pharrell carries a large, neon purple, "Burkin" style bag. I think a oversized Burkin bag would work for a man. The key for men is to have larger bags than women normally carry. The latest trend for women is to wear large handbags. Oversized accessories are very much in fashion, and the bags are no exception. Not many women wear them, but the bags are out there and they are large enough where a man can wear them to avoid those dainty little messenger bags, and stylish enough to avoid the uptight briefcases. The goal is to avoid those stupid backpack fabric bags. Those are worse. You might as well be one of those weirdos walking around with luggage around the city.

Perhaps a few examples of men and their bags:

Now those are a much better way to carry around your stuff. I especially like the first bag. You might also consider duffel bags as well. The designers are making them much better than they used to. Now, there is an actual design or pattern to them. You may not care about these things, but even a small detail like that can make a look.

I should also note to be careful about which brand of bags you buy. This pertains to women and men. I cannot stand those nouveau riche bags with Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Dooney & Burke, etc. plastered all over the bag. Whatever happened to showing the design, not the designer's name. It's ridiculous, and most people look awful with it. Fashion is not about labels (for the most part). It is about beautiful designs that accentuate your own personal beauty. When was the last time you really looked beautiful with the alphabet plastered on your body? How can you function wearing that? Or a better question, should you function? Or should you drop off the face of the Earth and put us out of our misery looking at you in it? A bit harsh of a statement, yes. But it's still true.

So, the verdict on man bags is that they are out. Way out. The future is in just a regular handbag. Why perpetrate, just wear the handbag. At the end of the day, I think a man looks more prissy by trying to hide the fact that he is wearing a purse. A real man can have anything on and, frankly my dear, not give a damn. So why not just do it? Now, let's all go out, get our bags, meet up for a drink, and live our lives without caring about what other people think. Viva la revolucion!

Here's to style. Cheers!

I'll have the Leg of Man, garcon ...

Well, Holly had the bright idea that I should start a blog about fashion. You know, impart my style tips on everyone in a central location. I have thought about this many times, but really didn’t think I wanted to become one of those “bloggers.” But, here I am. Never say I didn’t give my all to fashion.

For those of you who are new to me, I am somewhat of a style consultant among my circles. Many different people, whether male or female, come to me for style tips. My tips range from clothes, to decorating, to diamonds, and so on. If it’s a matter of luxury, beauty, and good taste, come see me about it. I just have a gift for art.

Where did I get it from? I have no idea. I grew up in the Deep South. The countriest country. It makes absolutely no sense that I know this stuff, but I do and I love sharing what I know. My gift to the world is working to make it a little prettier.

So, as I was saying, Holly suggested I do this blog after we had a long conversation about men wearing dress shoes with shorts. A couple of days ago I posted a Note on Facebook about a style column I read in GQ Magazine (the Bible as I like to refer to it) that stated that it was fashion failure to wear flip-flops regularly. They are just for the beach, or around the house. The column also stated that it was okay to wear dress shoes with shorts. That is the part that sparked the most conversation.

I agree with the column….to a point. There are a few men out there who can pull off this look. And when I say a few men, I mean a few men. This particular look, in my opinion, has an exact science to it. If you deviate from the look in any way, it’s not going to work. Here’s what it takes to make the look work: great legs, the right cut of shorts, and the rights shoes. I’ll break it down a little further for you.

Men at the peak of tone have incredible legs. However, muscular, toned legs aren’t enough. The right legs for this look are long, slender, toned only enough to look athletic but not be athletic, and hairless (or at least a very fine layer of hair…nothing really noticeable). This would be your typical runway leg, and that is what I’m talking about. Not many men have this particular leg, and thus cannot pull of the look. Now, on the shorts end, the cut for me needs to be just above the knee. Not mid thigh, or below the knee, but right above the knee. That helps to elongate the legs. The shorts must also be a thinner leg. There should not be a lot of room in them. The lines should be sleek, not baggy. This is also where men go wrong. Also, consider the shoes. Loafers are typical, but I hate them. I think the proper shoes should be square-toed dress shoes or deck shoes. And no socks! Socks just make you look tragic.

To give you the look I’m talking about, see below:

Now that is an appropriate example of men wearing shorts with dress shoes, and you can see how many men will not fit this look. I like the look on the left best, but the cut of the shorts on the right better. Combine the two, and I think that's the exact way I want to see a man wear the look. So, overall, the consensus is to just not do it. Unless you are actually a model and have worn the look on the runway at some point, don’t start until a designer actually puts it on you and declares it a good look for you to wear. I am all for experimentation in fashion, but some things (like fun fur or flip-flops) should never even enter your mind to try. This look is one of them.

So, this is my first blog. I think I have now cleared up any misunderstandings people have about that trend. I didn’t realize so many had an opinion on the look. I’m glad I found something that provoked a real conversation. I hope I get many more topics like that.

I hope that in reading this blog you are inspired to go out and start looking at the fashions and taking pieces of it to make your own. True style is eclectic, never one look. Which brings me to another point from the title of my blog.There is a difference between fashion and style. Fashion does fade. Not to say that being fashionable is wrong. It’s just to say that your goal should always be style first, and fashion after. Incorporate fashion in a way that will allow you be in step with trends of the times, and still always be classic. Think of a Chanel suit with the latest Manolo Blahniks, or an Armani Suit with the latest “bling.” Classic styles with the latest fashions.

Here’s to style. Cheers!