Pink Posse? Think Pu**y

The Pink shirt ... the most tragic piece of fashion to ever come off the lines at any sweat shop in Honduras. I mean these kids work for $0.45 a hour, can't they at least be proud of what they're making? Why, oh why did this color have to show up for a grown man?

As many of you know, I have a serious grievance against any grown man wearing pink. Actually, I would say after 13 (when boys and girls start actually start developing serious differences....namely hair growth) a male should no longer have feminine colors in his wardrobe like this. Pink, light yellow, light purple, general pastels and Easter colors....NO NO NO!

I understand that manhood is being redefined, and softer man is coming to life. But seriously guys, do you have to be so soft you move into limp-wristedly flaccid? Yeah....I said it. I had to make up a whole new word to describe this crap. And it's not just this shade of pink that must go....all shades (salmon, whatever you call it to convince yourself you aren't wearing pink). I have heard everyone try to justify a man wearing this color. Let it go. That dog just ain't gonna hunt folks.

People ... get it together. Let us find other shades of color in our wardrobe. Even the hottest man will not make this look good. Because really, when you see a hot guy in a pink shirt, are you saying he looks good in that shirt, or that he just looks good, OR that he would look good without that pink shirt on ... he should take that off? Yeah I thought so.

I am taking a stand on this like I took a stand on flip-flops. This isn't fashion. It isn't style. It's just plain tragic. I will not condone pink on a grown man. I will not Sam I am. At the end of the day it looks like Japanese baby doll fashion. And if any of you have seen that, you will understand why I target pink wearers. It's no different in my eyes. It's okay when you're young and don't know any better. But at a certain age, you let childish things go. The problem with our society now is that we are holding onto it. 30 and 40 year old men still play video games. They still go to clubs to pick up "chicks" or "hot girls." It's a reflection of how pathetic and juvenile men have become. They continue to be Peter Pan...forever a child. Their clothes even reflect it. Where are men? Throw down your pink shirts, join the grown-up world. Maybe if we're all lucky, the other childish things men continue to do in older ages will fall behind too.

Every once in a while I relate a fashion concept to societal norms. Bare with me. Eventually you'll find that clothing reflects society. And in some cases, dictates it. Take a look back at history and you'll see it for yourself. So, bare with me when my commentary dives into a societal piece.

A toast: to leaving behind childish ways. Starting with pink shirts. I'll definitely drink to that.

Here's to style. Cheers!

It's Time for Time

Word on the street is that watches may be the new "It" item in fashion.

"Salvatore Ferragamo, Valentino, Versace, and Roberto Cavalli have all introduced pricey new watches in the past two years, and brands like Dior and Chanel are expanding their watch divisions. "

Time pieces have been a neglected area of a person's look. You walk around and you see people wearing the latest trends, and it gets blindsided by a rubber watch that was clearly bought as an impulse buy at the registers of Wal-Mart or Target. You might as well be wearing a calculator watch, or one of those tacky hip hop, multicolored watches that are way too pricey to be that ugly.

If you flip through your latest fashion magazines, you will find a lot more editorials for watches. And as you have read above, the major fashion houses are even jumping on the watch bandwagon. So, this blog is gonna give you my top picks for watches, tips on when to wear them, and tips on which watches go with what style. Trust me when I say a watch isn't a constant accessory. I have two, and you don't always see me wearing either one of them. There are times when you can just leave it at home. You have a cell phone, don't you? You will always know what time it is. But if you are the type to need to wear a watch....here's how to do it with style.

MEN:

My top picks for watches are the kind that are so simple looking that they stand out when you look at them versus flashy. The Lange 1 by A. Lange & Söhne is a nice piece. It's simple, yet very sleek, fresh ... certainly vogue. This is the kind of watch that can be worn in business, and in pleasure. It is a very grey color...so be on the lookout for what you pair it with. A nice navy, black, or grey suit can be nice. And those colors are not bad at all for a business casual look either. Now if you're a brown shoes kind of guy, you can go with Breguet. Apparently Napoleon Bonaparte was once a client of this watch company (Established in 1775). The model 5327BA is a nice brown leather band and gold watch. It would compliment any uptown style that you can wear brown leather shoes with. Now if go completely casual and trendy....the Cartier Roadster is a great little find. This a sleek, and yet playful watch.

Very casual. outside of businesswear, this could polish any look...even shabby chic. Let's be honest, if you aren't wearing something that most can't afford, how will they ever know you're better than them? Oh, and if you are like me and you wear rings, or necklaces, or even wrist cuffs....no watch. Even men can overaccessorize. Unless you are in a band...keep the accessories to only two. A ring and watch, a cuff and necklace, etc. no cuff with a watch....EVER.

WOMEN:

For women, the styles choices are a bit different, so rather than tell you exactly what to buy, I will have to explain what to look for in a watch. For a business suit, you want something simple, small, and almost undetectable on your wrist. Try not to wear something with a link wristband. Leather bands are your friends with a suit. For a more business casual look, or your uptown wears, try a link band watch.Or for a more posh look, try a larger face watch...maybe jeweled a bit. And really only recommend a bracelet style watch with a below the knee skirt, or long pants (palazzo -esque pants..something with room...very Katherine Hepburn). It's much classier, and adds that appropriate feminine touch. There is no formal wear....NONE...that I can recommend a watch for ladies. NONE. Let it go. If you're in formal wear, your watch for the night should be on your date's wrist. You're not Cinderella...you don't need to be that aware of time in that situation. A good tip for finding these styles is DKNY. They have an assortment across the spectrum of watches to fit your needs. And DKNY is much more affordbale than Chanel, which would be my haute choice.

Now I know these choices are quite expensive. Remember that you can always find similar styles for a lesser price if they are out of your range. The point of this is for you to better understand what looks good and what doesn't. Just because it's A style, doesn't mean it is THE style.

Here's to style. Cheers!

Victor / Victoria: Fall 2008 Menswear

IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED. It started with CK One, the unisex fragrance. Then, with the American embrace of Euro club fashions, we entered a land where men could share clothes with their woman. We let metrosexuality take over. It has all come down to the final assimilation of masculinity into the feminine world.

Welcome to the newest in men's fashion -- women's fashion transposed onto men. Check out the Fall 2008 Menwear Magazine. You will find a wonderful article on the latest fall wears for men. These lovely pieces include a beautifully detailed Versace shearling and leather coat, cashmere scarves, rug-embroidered hoods that resemble a woman's wrap, and a Prada Trench with a very a neckline that is only suited to show off a woman's cleavage.

I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised by it. Then again, the whole point of a collection is to shock a bit. This year, the hottest trend in women's fashion is Menswear. Women are wearing menswear-inspired fashions. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right? So, here we are. Men are wearing Womenswear.

This season, Fendi has even sent their men out on the runway with purses and clutches. Fashion has gone to the women. And I actually like it. Don't think I'm crazy. I don't like the pieces that have been created, but I do think it's time to move in this direction. There are some things in Womenswear that I have wanted to see translated to menswear. Let's take a little looksie, shall we?

Do you love it? I do. I'm not a fan of the fur so much. But I can live it. The overall message is that fashion can cross genders. Gender really is an illusion most times. It should be with clothes. I am certainly enjoying the new lines.

Many of you will probably say the new styles have gone too far. For shame! Embrace these looks. You don not have to repeat them exactly. But don't be afraid that something looks "too girly" for you to wear. A strong man can pull this off flawlessly. Are you man enough to fem it up? I say we toast to the success of the gender-bending menswear, and hope it continues to the look I've envisioned for years.

Here's to style. Cheers!

Men: Commit This to Memory!

The October 2008 issue of GQ magazine (I prefer to call it the Bible, so be aware as posts go on) is now out. In it I have found a very good article. that all men need to pay attention to. GQ has issued 66 rules, tips, and secrets for living -- and looking -- like a civilized man.

I agree with the article that society in general, and manhood specifically, has been casual-ified. Some of the new rules have their place in a modern world. But as you know, I am classic on many things. We have left behind tradition, and put in its place Abercrombie & Fitch, and Blackberries. Meaning, we live by the Internet (not people), and expensive ragged clothes. Am I the only one confused here? What happened to basic human decency. Whether it is clothes, etiquette, or whatever, the gentleman should still be present. Those ugly butch lezzie feminists have stolen the GQ man. It's time for him to make a new appearance. Below I have included what I think are the most central words about style from this article. Men, pay attention.

No.3 Find A Signature Scent

If you have an everyday scent, people will start to register you invisibly -- and more important, remember you. Get a couple of samples and test-drive them for a day. The right one will make people enjoying being near you. Once you have selected the one scent, master its application. You want a single short spray on the top of each forearm, one on the neck, and one down the back of the shirt (before you button up, pull the collar back and aim downward). Play with it until you get it right.

No.7 The Dating Man

Be decent about your one-night stands. You don't have to date her or even see her again, but you do have to take her call. And if she wants to hang out and you don't, you have to man up and tell her the truth ... as gently as you can. And don't then call her the next week at 1 am looking for round two. I think the lesson here should be to just be upfront about your intentions. Game is a limp dicked man's security blanket. Direct honesty works a lot better. If you want her for one night, make it clear.

No.19 Lose the Novelty Drawers

Your underpants shouldn't be funny. They shouldn't have jokes on them. They shouldn't have been "cool in college."

No.54 Locker Room

You have to be at least partially clothes to strike up a conversation in the locker room.

No.55 Plane, Train, and Automobile ... Trips

Getting on a plane isn't an excuse to look like a schlub. Dress comfortably but stylishly. No Sweatpants. No Flip-flops.

That was a just a taste of what GQ is offering this month. I suggest that every man pick up a copy and read through it. It has great tips on how to be comfortably stylish, how to break up, the must-haves of gentleman's style. Specifically, there's a piece on the right watch. I told you all to think Bond. There are some vintage-inspired watches that are very Goldfinger, or Dr. No.

Here's to style. Cheers!

From the Catwalk to the Sidewalk: How High-End Fashion Influences Your Low-End Prêt-à-Porter

If you're Kimora Lee Simmons, the cast of "Gossip Girl," or even Anna Wintour, you know the best place in the world to be is New York City when Fashion Week starts. Why? It is the premiere event for fashion. And you will probably never go.

Most people will never get into a show in their lifetime. They can't afford the clothes, nor would they wear them in public if they ever could afford them. So, your question is probably why you should care about fashion. You, the average, everyday man or woman, has been inspired by most of the pieces on the runways. You didn't know it

Whether it's the hot "It" items, or the trendy color, or the trendy design, you will find that it trickles its way down to the more affordable stores. Have you been to H & M lately? What about Old Navy? Forever 21 perhaps? I know ... Target? Yes, well thank those overpaid designers like Poenza Schouler and Issac Mizrahi for the fashionable (and affordable) clothes on your back right now.

Meet the Proenza Schouler blouse for Fall 2008:

Nice, isn't it? This blouse will run about $600. Would you wear it on the street though? Probably not. So, how do you take this little number to the sidewalk?

Now, as a personal style tip, I don't care for the bows on shirts. The bow has become a staple on the runway this year. If you're a bow girl, go for it. If you want something a little different, tie it like a regular men's tie ... with a double Windsor knot. It's a little bigger, but it will be a risk worth me looking at.

Let's try something else a little harder to take from the runway. Have any of you seen the Dolce & Gabbana Metal corset?

Very couture, right? Well, let's assume that you can afford this lovely item. How would you wear it? I think this is a perfect item for cocktail hour, or a night out on the town. Definitely Evening kind of wear. Try mixing it into this style below for a little added edginess to your wardrobe. This is just a simple dress, and all the accessories you can match up at a local department store. On a cooler evening, I would get a nice trench, very slim and thin fabric, leave it untied, and put the corset over it as a belt. Just play with the look.

I will tell you the greatest, and easiest secret to turning runway fashions into expressway fashions. Listen closely. Never wear an entire runway look. Take the overall message of the fashions. If metal is in...find some metal accessories and add them to your wardrobe. If the new color is purple, then find a purple blouse, or purple jewelry, or something like that. The point of the runway in your everyday clothes is influence, not completely imitation. You should be picking bits an pieces of the runway into your clothes.

Here's a photo from this year's Fashion Week. Now stop for a minute and think about what she's wearing. It looks nice on a runway, but who would look just as good walking down the street in it? I think no one. So, how do we fix it? See that vest? Wear it. But here's what you do differently. Take a good pair of black heels, find a white t-shirt that is much smaller, and pull off that look. Get your hair in a low ponytail, and find some dangling earrings. A black chunky bracelet and a skull rocker ring wouldn't hurt the look either. See? That wasn't so bad.

This one was a fairly easy try, but I want to you to get in the habit of looking at clothes as pieces, not an entire look. It is not an entire look until you have it on your body, and it looks good. Got it? Think you can do it with something a little harder? Let's give it another try.

Remember what I said. Stop. Take a look at the entire outfit. Now, break it down piece by piece. Find what works and what doesn't. Then, think about why certain pieces don't work. What makes them inappropriate for everyday wear. Now, can you fix those problems? Hint: the answer is almost always yes, so don't automatically dismiss an outfit. That's a fashion coward.

Did you find everything you needed? Let's see. So, you stopped and took a look at the clothes, right? What did you see?

Wrong! Here's what you should have taken from this photo. First, if you notice, all the girls are wearing jewel tones. That is big this season. Did you see the Emmy Awards last night. Many women were wearing these colors. There's your first style choice. Secondly, you should have noticed that all colors were mixed with black and gold, which should help you find the right accessories. And patent leather ... the shoes, the bags, the belts. Love it. Wear it. Look great with it. And all the garments show the neckline, not the cleavage. This season is a bare neck and shoulders. These are the best parts of woman, and should be on display because it's them last parts to go if they look good on you. I'd even venture to suggest the ankle boots. It's a more French style, but it is all over the runway and the sidewalk. Short skirts, legging, both paired with ankle boots. Get used to it. It has been coming harder and harder since the Devil Wears Prada. The one below is Miu Miu, patent leather. They're from 2007, but patent leather hasn't made its way out yet, so you're still good.

Here's to style. Cheers!

Timeless Styles: What You Should Know?

Tonight's blog is on timeless styles. What are they? How should people wear them? Fashion is not an exact science in all aspects. There are certain things that one can do in order to always be in style.

So, below you will find my style must-haves that will turn any of you into a timeless fashionista.

1. Jeans

Yes, jeans. Ladies and Gentlemen, these are here to stay. The idea of jeans began all the way back in the 16th century, so it is clear they aren't going anywhere anytime soon. They hit their height of popularity beginning in the 1950s, but they have been around for quite some time. Now, we have them in any different styles, fabrics, colors. They are fabulous. And they are a timeless pant.

The way you should wear them is where we divide trendy with timeless. YOUR JEANS SHOULD FIT!!! A good pair of jeans should hug a woman's curves comfortably, but not tightly. Think Valentino here ladies. Valentino gowns caress a woman like a man's hand. Your jeans should do no less. I am a fond believer in the straight leg as a staple in your closet. They can be paired off with many styles of shoes. So, in the jeans department ladies, you should find a pair of jeans that fit at your actual waist (low rise will not be timeless), that break at the bottom just right, and that hug your body just right. With that said, understand that not every wash, or cut, will fit you and look great. You should be able to stand and sit wearing them, and still be comfortable. It's a hard task, I know. But, the reward is the perfect jean that will always be in your closet waiting to jazz up any outfit you create for the occasion.

Men, jeans should be at your waist as well. Our waist for jeans should be at the beginning of our love line ... that V just below the belly button. Your jeans Should sit right on your ass, comfortably, and without moving once you are dressed. So, YOUR JEANS SHOULD FIT TOO!!! For those of you unaware, sagging is believed to have originated in prison. Prisoners are not allowed to wear belts for fear of hanging themselves, etc. So, their clothes sag. This is the more pleasant explanation of sagging, linked to why men equate this style with being "hard." The reality of the trend is, or at least has been thought to be the reality is, that sagging was used by the prison bitches so that they weren't caught fucking. When you sag in prison (where many don't have underwear to wear), your ass is exposed just underneath your shirt. You can easily lift that shirt up, presenting your ass for your "husband," and he can go to town on you. If a guard walks by, your husband can easily dismount, and you both can be on your way without anyone being the wiser since you didn't have to adjust any of your clothing. Stop being bitches men. Pull your pants back up, get a pair that fit (not 8 sizes larger than you), and let's go from their. A classic pair of Levi's on a man can't be sexier.

2. Accessories

I have said it over and over again. Accessories make an outfit. Now, this area is a little tricky because accessories do follow trends. However, there are some must-haves that you can always fall back on any decade, and be alright.

Women:

You will always need a string of pearls. I tend to recommend the longer strands of pearls that can be wrapped several times, or tied, or just worn long. They are more versatile than the shorter strands. Pearls are classic, and will always be a glamor choice. They can go elegant, trendy, day, night, and so on. You will need to do your homework on pearls to make sure you select properly. But, like the jeans, once you have them ... they will be used for years to come.

Men:

You will always need a watch. There should always be a watch in your dresser that isn't flashy, but is sophisticated, and masculine. Think Movado ... A James Bond style of watch.

3. The Little Black Dress

That's right. A woman should always have a little black dress that is fit for a funeral, a night out, or a night in ;-). Coco Chanel created this little number, but it is something that every woman should have in her closet. It's all all-purpose fashion, and when you have the right one ... timeless. The trick to this one though is to buy it thinking ahead. You should be able to wear it now, and have it be altered later if necessary. So, your little black dress should not be that little. It should be a grown woman's dress. Not meant for street trash. I cannot stress that enough ... the highest it should go is just above the knee. Strict adherence to this rule should be observed. You might want this dress to go with your pearls, so have that in mind when selecting both.

4. The Perfect Suit

Please see my previous blog about this guys. It is a must-have for every man.

5. Matching Personality

For my final must-have for timeless style, I recommend that you understand your personality, and the vibe you put out in the world. Your clothes should reflect who you are. If you are an elegant person, you won't pull off the rocker look. So, don't try it.

My suggestion for both men and women is to sit down, flip through a few catalogs and fashion magazines, and really think about the person you want to project to the world. There is no one look for everyone. Even the staples I mentioned above have variations depending on the person. So, your must-have is to have a personality that matches your style. Risky fashions look out of place on a reserved person, and reserved fashions look wrong on a person who always takes risks. If you aren't the type for the clothes, be careful of wearing it. You make your look.

These are my best must-haves for timeless fashions. Each of the above items are what I recommend that we all have in our closet, regardless of what style you like, your body type, whatever.

I understand that this blog may be a little vague to you, and may not answer every question you have. You have to understand that personal style is just that. It is hard to write a general blog geared toward such a case-by-case issue. My blogs are meant to guide you in the right direction. I want you to think about what I have suggested, and do the work it takes to learn more. I hope to be a consultant one day on this type of thing so that you can each come to me individually. That way, I can go into a more detailed analysis of your personal needs, and help you more. For now, you will all have to do with taking my suggestions broadly, and using them to guide you specifically.

Here's to style. Cheers!

NO ... WIRE ... HANGERS ... EVER!!!! Let's just use models instead.

As soon as the idea of this blog was presented to me, that little line from the extremely campy movie, Mommie Dearest, came to mind. And I think it is the most appropriate title for this blog.

I was asked the other day my opinion as a "fashionista" on the super skinny model phenomenon. Why do designers want such emaciated women walking down the runway in their clothes? Why is walking death so chic? In a word? Hangers ... that's the key.

There are a few out there who would suggest that it is more cost effective to have slender models because you would use a lot less fabric to make the sample garment, thereby cutting down the cost of making the initial outfit for the fashion show. Granted, that is true. But, in the long run, when you are creating a gown that you plan to price at thousands of dollars above it's actual production costs, an extra square inch of fabric will not matter so much that the entire industry has to embrace the concept.

No, what we are talking about with this trend is simply a presentation of the clothes. Models are supposed to be hangers. Put this image in your mind: clothes shopping in a department store. What do you do when you see a dress you like. You take it in front of a mirror, on its hanger, and you put it up against your body. Then you visualize what it would look like on your body. That's the model's job. She is supposed to walk down the runway as if a walking hanger with a dress on it. You visualize yourself in the outfit. That's why the clothes on the runway tend to drape on the model's body. When it's on a hanger, there's no form to it. You, as the buyer, are the form. You have to want to be in the clothes. Sometimes when you see a model filling out an outfit, you start telling yourself that you can't wear it. It's couture ladies! It is meant to be made to fit.

Many designers, former model Iman as well, have stated that models are simply human

hangers. They are not supposed to stand out at all. They are meaningless. Fashion is about the clothes, and the model's job is to do all that is possible to make the clothes the centerpiece. What do you notice when Beyonce wears a gown? You notice Beyonce, right? You also notice her gown, but you are focused on her hourglass figure in that gown. When you see a skinny model on the runway, what do you notice? You notice her clothes, then you notice she's a skinny ass model. See the difference? A model with a body makes you notice her first, clothes second. A skinny model makes you notice the clothes first, then maybe her ... maybe. What do you think a clothing designer wants to get the first notice? Enough said.

Having explained that, I do want to make mention that this bone-thin look is not a fashion look. While there is a reason for emaciated models to become the "it" item for designers, it should not be the body type of all women. Somehow this look has infected the conscious of all women. No no no! You are not a hanger women. Get that out of your mind. Models need to be skinny because they need to be invisible. Clothing stands out the best when the body is a blank.

Do you want to be invisible in haute couture? Hell no! You want to be seen everywhere. You are the star attraction everyday. On the runway, only, is where the star must be the clothes. So, push that spotlight -hogging bitch out of your light, and eat something. John Mayer referred to Jenner Love Hewitt's body as a Wonderland. You've seen her body....it is not catwalk worthy. So if her body is wonderland with curves, why are you all aspiring to look like the ticket stub that men hold onto until they get into that park? Think about it ...

And as always: here's to style. Cheers!