America, the Beautiful

O say can you dress by Oliver B.'s brilliant advice,

What so proudly you should all hail at the country's belated anniversary?

I am here tonight to talk about American independence ... and how to celebrate it with your upcoming fall fashions. I know it's a bit early for fall advice, but the sooner you get your wardrobe before the season starts the better.

The message from our leader Anna Wintour, ladies, is to go big! If you're the kind of woman who likes to blend in the background, fall will not be the season for you. We're Americans people ... we want bold statements of personal style.

Ladies, fall is going to be a tornado of audacity. Vogue is calling this trend "hyperfashion." All of the pieces will be exaggerated, pushed to the nth degree. Shoulders are eighties-wide, hair is windblown, and lips are the reddest of red. Being chic is not about simplicity, it is about the bold, the flashy, the costume of the day!

The stage was set for fall after the May 7th "Met Gala." For those of you unaware of this event, it is a night of daring choices as we celebrate the work of the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute. This year did not disappoint.

Shock and awe flooded the red carpet event as fashion took on the fall season with extreme eclecticism. And this extreme will even spill over into the office style as well. Greed is good again ... at least in your wardrobe ... the eighties-influenced power wardrobe out now is sure to being back one of America's biggest and boldest eras of fashion: neon colors, bold leathers, and minimalist planes of the purest colors (it's hip to be square again). It's all back!

And men ... America is about equality. So I am here for you too. Your boldness is in three words: red, white, blue. Raise the flag in your wardrobe, and mix and match these wonderfully American colors. Shirts, ties, and blazers can all be mixed with these colors ... many already have in their patterns.

And our greatest American export: the preppy look. Break out your cardigans, your boat shoes, and your red chinos. But don't forget our all-American country boys: "Only the greatest country in the world could turn underwear into the national uniform. Nothing says red-blooded American male like a T-shirt ..." The simplest male looks are going to beat the rest of world over the head and announce we're back, and we're in charge! And since nothing is more American than denim, be sure to hit the stores and buy some classic Levi's (well-fitted) and put away the Jersey Shore bedazzled jeans.

And there you have it. Be proud to be an American, and show it big and bold on your backs with hyperfashion. O say does that American couture yet inspire awe, o'er the land of the audacious and the home of the bold? I sure hope so ...

God Bless American style! Cheers.