... these Crocs are a sham.

I think by now everyone is familiar with Crocs. These hideous shoes that have taken over people's feet throughout the world. Why? Why oh why would you do something like that? What did your feet do to you to deserve this horrible fate.

My blog is about style ... and Crocs are not it. They are on the same level with flip-flops: a trend that should have never been. I think the best indicator of how completely useless these shoes are, take a look at all the children that were injured when the shoes got caught in escalator mechanisms. That was the Universe's way of punishing the fashionless masses who would dare wear those things. What better way to punish you ridiculously clueless fools than to take out your children for your pathetic attempts at style.

Yeah.....I said it! But, if you feel that was too harsh for you, I have a nicer way of voicing my disgust, and your fate for wearing them:

I am Sam.
I am Sam.
Sam, I am.

That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not likethat Sam-I-am!

Do you wear Crocs?

I do not wear them, Sam-I-am.
I do not wear Crocs; they are a sham.

Would you wear them here or there?

I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should wear them anywhere.
I do not wear Crocs; they just aren't glam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you wear them in a house?
Would you wear them to kill a mouse?

I do not like them in a house.
I would not wear them to kill a mouse.
I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should wear them anywhere.
I do not wear Crocs; they just aren't glam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you wear them in a box?
Would you wear them to run from a fox?

Not in a box.
Not to run from a fox.
Not in a house.
Not to kill a mouse.
I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should wear them anywhere.
I would not wear Crocs; they just aren't glam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you?
Could you?
In a car?
Wear them!
Wear them!
Here they are.

I would not, could not, in a car.

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them in a tree!

I would not, could not, in a tree.
Not in a car!
You let me be.

I do not like them in a box.
I would not wear them to run from a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I would not wear them to kill a mouse.
I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should wear them anywhere.
I do not wear Crocs; they just aren't glam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

A train!
A train!
A train!
A train!

Could you, would you, on a train?

Not on a train!
Not in a tree!
Not in a car!
Sam, let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, to run from a fox.
I will not wear them to kill a mouse.
I will not wear them in a house.
I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should wear them anywhere.
I do not wear Crocs; they just aren't glam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not, in the dark.

Would you, could you, in the rain?

I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark.
Not on a train.
Not in a car.
Not in a tree.
I will not wear them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house.
Not in a box.
Not to kill a mouse.
Not to run from a fox.
I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should wear them anywhere.

You do not like Crocs?

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you, while milking a goat?

I would not, could not, while milking a goat!

Would you, could you, on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, while milking a goat.
I will not wear them in the rain.
I will not wear them on a train.
Not in the dark!
Not in a tree!
Not in a car!
You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I will not wear them to run from a fox.
I will not wear them in a house.
I would not wear them to kill a mouse.
I would not wear them here or there.
NO ONE should like them ANYWHERE.
I do not wear Crocs; they just aren't glam.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

You do not like them, so you say.
Try them!
Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

Sam!
If you will let me be, I will try them.

You will see.

Say!
I like Crocs; now I'm the man.
I do!
I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would wear them in a boat.
And I would wear them while milking a goat ...
And I will wear them in the rain.
And in the dark.
And on a train.
And in a car.
And in a tree.
They are so snug, so snug, you see!
So I will wear them in a box.
And I will wear them to run from a fox.
And I will wear them in a house.
And I will wear them to kill a mouse.
And I will wear them here or there.
Say, I will wear them ANYWHERE!
I do so like Crocs; but my girl did not, and left me man.
Damn you!
Damn you, Sam-I-am!
Now I'm alone, and stuck with just my hand.

Here's to style. Cheers!